Of Norms and defining what it means to be an Adult

Mr. Warford and I recently met with each our 8^th grade teams to talk about maintaining pride through the end of the year.

Mr. Warford talked about the legacy of great effort, character and extracurricular activity this group has modeled and I followed by speaking to a host of other things.

Among these I talked about adulthood.  I told students that many of them could be confused for adults because of their physical appearance (contrasted against what they looked like when they first came to BCMS as 6^th graders).  But I clarified that our community does not confer ‘adulthood’ in the same way that the law does.  It’s one thing to be of legal age and appearance, but neither of these qualify one as an adult in a responsible adult's eyes as much as ones actions do.

What it means to act like an adult

Adults place needs ahead of wants.  We all know people who are adult in legal status only because they are incapable of placing needs ahead of wants.  It may not be surprising that these individuals place their wants ahead of others’ needs, but what is surprising is that they place their wants ahead of even their own needs!

Our 8^th graders are a phenomenal group but they too feel the allure of ‘right now’ wants that compete with ‘right now’ needs. 

At many times throughout our year our staff speaks to character and one of the many ways we define character is that it winds up being the sum of all of our "right now" behaviors.  Translated, this means that it's not just about 'performing' good deeds when others are paying attention. It is also attending to our needs and those of others ahead of our wants.  

There is a great quote from the move The Great Debaters; "we do what we have to do in order to do what we want to do."  Whenever a child is struggling with being an adult, it's this quote that usually can speak to the choice they face that determines whether they'll achieve adulthood in those 'right now' moments.

The Power of Norms

Norms aren’t exactly rules but they are a set of acceptable ways to behave in a community.  Some communities have really positive norms (like opening doors for people), while every community also has negative norms (spring often sees our 8^th graders become less productive in Homebase).

One of our goals at the Middle School is to teach students how to abide by positive norms and how to remain immune to negative ones.  I shared with them that the environment around our High School at this time of the year is one of great intensity and focus and that the best way for our 8th graders to prepare to feel accepted in this environment is to set the same model now for our younger students.

It's impressive when 13 and 14 year olds prioritize their needs ahead of their wants and it's a norm that we emphasize and reinforce continually and consistently throughout BCMS and particularly in 8th grade!

End of Week Notes:

International Children's Art Auction

• Thank you to all who participated in the Helping Hands Club Annual Children's Art Auction 
• This year the club raised over $3,000 and had phenomenal art from students (some ours) all over the globe
• The proceeds from this event are used to support club activities and to help build schools in third world countries

Farmer's Market is BACK!

• The Bethlehem / Delmar Farmer's Market is back this weekend, Saturday, May 30 from 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM.  Another great turnout for what has become a signature event for Bethlehem

Dress Code Reminder

• Our dress code is in place to help students draw attention to themselves for the right reasons and in appropriate ways that do not jeopardize their self-esteem.  Girls and boys who draw attention to themselves because of clothing come to be reliant upon these things for their image. We want all of our students to see themselves as scholars, musicians, athletes, and as compassionate members of a supportive community. As a reminder, 
• shorts (for both boys and girls) should hang at least to students' thumbs when arms are hanging at one's sides.  
• No muscle shirts
• No spaghetti straps
• No midriffs showing
• No questionable language / slogans

The Week that Will be:

Monday, June 1

• 8th Grade Science Written NYS exam

Tuesday, June 2

• Late buses today
• POPS Concert @ BCMS 7:30 PM

Wednesday, June 3

• Late buses today
• BOE 7:00 PM

Thursday, June 4

• late buses today

Friday, June 5

• FASS (Friday After School Support) today
• Star Party
• Astronomy club invites all to attend
• Location - BMCS Back field (by tennis courts)
• Time - 8:45 PM - 10:00 PM

Have a great weekend!