Of Norms and defining what it means to be an Adult

Mr. Warford and I recently met with each our 8^th grade teams to talk about maintaining pride through the end of the year.

Mr. Warford talked about the legacy of great effort, character and extracurricular activity this group has modeled and I followed by speaking to a host of other things.

Among these I talked about adulthood.  I told students that many of them could be confused for adults because of their physical appearance (contrasted against what they looked like when they first came to BCMS as 6^th graders).  But I clarified that our community does not confer ‘adulthood’ in the same way that the law does.  It’s one thing to be of legal age and appearance, but neither of these qualify one as an adult in a responsible adult's eyes as much as ones actions do.

What it means to act like an adult

Adults place needs ahead of wants.  We all know people who are adult in legal status only because they are incapable of placing needs ahead of wants.  It may not be surprising that these individuals place their wants ahead of others’ needs, but what is surprising is that they place their wants ahead of even their own needs!

Our 8^th graders are a phenomenal group but they too feel the allure of ‘right now’ wants that compete with ‘right now’ needs. 

At many times throughout our year our staff speaks to character and one of the many ways we define character is that it winds up being the sum of all of our "right now" behaviors.  Translated, this means that it's not just about 'performing' good deeds when others are paying attention. It is also attending to our needs and those of others ahead of our wants.  

There is a great quote from the move The Great Debaters; "we do what we have to do in order to do what we want to do."  Whenever a child is struggling with being an adult, it's this quote that usually can speak to the choice they face that determines whether they'll achieve adulthood in those 'right now' moments.

The Power of Norms

Norms aren’t exactly rules but they are a set of acceptable ways to behave in a community.  Some communities have really positive norms (like opening doors for people), while every community also has negative norms (spring often sees our 8^th graders become less productive in Homebase).

One of our goals at the Middle School is to teach students how to abide by positive norms and how to remain immune to negative ones.  I shared with them that the environment around our High School at this time of the year is one of great intensity and focus and that the best way for our 8th graders to prepare to feel accepted in this environment is to set the same model now for our younger students.

It's impressive when 13 and 14 year olds prioritize their needs ahead of their wants and it's a norm that we emphasize and reinforce continually and consistently throughout BCMS and particularly in 8th grade!

End of Week Notes:

International Children's Art Auction

• Thank you to all who participated in the Helping Hands Club Annual Children's Art Auction 
• This year the club raised over $3,000 and had phenomenal art from students (some ours) all over the globe
• The proceeds from this event are used to support club activities and to help build schools in third world countries

Farmer's Market is BACK!

• The Bethlehem / Delmar Farmer's Market is back this weekend, Saturday, May 30 from 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM.  Another great turnout for what has become a signature event for Bethlehem

Dress Code Reminder

• Our dress code is in place to help students draw attention to themselves for the right reasons and in appropriate ways that do not jeopardize their self-esteem.  Girls and boys who draw attention to themselves because of clothing come to be reliant upon these things for their image. We want all of our students to see themselves as scholars, musicians, athletes, and as compassionate members of a supportive community. As a reminder, 
• shorts (for both boys and girls) should hang at least to students' thumbs when arms are hanging at one's sides.  
• No muscle shirts
• No spaghetti straps
• No midriffs showing
• No questionable language / slogans

The Week that Will be:

Monday, June 1

• 8th Grade Science Written NYS exam

Tuesday, June 2

• Late buses today
• POPS Concert @ BCMS 7:30 PM

Wednesday, June 3

• Late buses today
• BOE 7:00 PM

Thursday, June 4

• late buses today

Friday, June 5

• FASS (Friday After School Support) today
• Star Party
• Astronomy club invites all to attend
• Location - BMCS Back field (by tennis courts)
• Time - 8:45 PM - 10:00 PM

Have a great weekend!

The MOST important thing I'll do this week...VOTE!

I am lucky.  I am privileged to be a middle school principal.  I recognize the awesome responsibility that this position carries and how lucky I am to be able to impact such a wonderful community of learners.  I will get to do many wonderful things this week, but none more important than exercising my right to vote this Tuesday.

This Tuesday, May 19, is our annual school budget vote.  Additionally there are two board of education seats open and our community has the right to exercise their choice in this process too.

When I addressed a group of Bethlehem Middle School parents at a PTO meeting last year they were surprised to hear the statistics of voter turnout in Bethlehem.  As one stated, "I didn't think my vote was a big deal because in a district like ours, I just figured my missing it one time wouldn't matter."

The last time Bethlehem's budget was voted down (more than 9 years ago), it wasn't really voted down.  Yes, a majority of voters in that vote voted no, but it was THE LOWEST voter turnout in the last 15 years.

And so, with that, please exercise your opportunity to participate this coming Tuesday, May 19. Voting can be done at the High School between the hours of 7:00 AM and 9:00 PM.

End of Week Notes:

It takes a Village...

• Our 6th grade trip this past Thursday to the Boston Science Museum was a thrill.  I had opportunity to travel with our students and as much as I am a science geek (I am the former K-12 Science Supervisor for Bethlehem) it was WAY more fun to watch our students engaging with the various exhibits.
• I also was impressed, thrilled and proud at how parents, students, and teachers' efforts came together to make this event a representative one of our proud community. Students arrived at the buses on time, they did not get emotionally tripped up when two of our buses showed up late, and they behaved like scholars throughout their day in the museum.  
• Special thanks to our parent chaperones.  Without you this would have been a difficult trip to logistically manage.
• Special thanks also to Ms. Beiter (Patroon 2), Mr. Wood (Mohawk) and Mr. Reilly (Patroon 1) for all of the work they did behind the scenes to plan and coordinate this experience!

Congratulations to our Bands, Orchestra's and Choirs

• As we closed our end of the year concerts we were all reminded of one reason why Bethlehem is such a strong district.  Our 6th, 7th, and 8th grade concerts were phenomenal.  As much as we are proud of our music teachers for their work to hone our musicians I want to reiterate the message they share with parents at every concert.  Without the valuing that our parents place upon music our program would not be such a source of pride!  Thank you!

Another special thank you!

• This past Friday had all of our district 5th graders visit the middle school for their moving up day. They walked through a quasi-schedule, ate lunch, and met all of our 6th grade teachers and counselors. BUT what was truly inspiring was the number of 6th grade students who volunteered to stick around to conduct tours or play in our band rather than go home early.  More than 150 grade 6 students elected to stay and in so doing they demonstrated to our 5th graders how much we look forward to them joining us next year.

Preparing our 8th Graders

• Mr. Warford, Mr, Zadoorian and I met with our 8P1 team Friday and we will be meeting with our 8M and 8P2 teams this week to talk about expectations and opportunities as they close out this school year.  
• My comment to our 8th graders is that they now look like adults, but that to be treated like an adult is a privilege to be earned at all times.  Students who allow themselves to be distracted into destructive behaviors to others or themselves reveal a maturity that gives away their true age no matter how old they try to appear.  We are reminding our 8th graders that our High School is place of great intensity at this time of the year.  It's filled with students taking this time of the year seriously as they prepare for exams and try to close out their grades with marks that they will be proud to make permanent on their transcripts.  We are reminding all of our 8th graders that the best way they can prepare to be welcomed and accepted into this High School setting is by setting this example throughout the remainder of this year.

The Week that Will be:

Monday, May 18

• NO Late buses today

Tuesday, May 19

• Late buses today
• School budget vote
• School Board of Education Elections

Wednesday, May 20

• Grade 8 Science Performance Exam (Students do not study for this)
• Grade 7 Annual Raptor Presentation
• Late buses today
• BOE meets 7:00 @ BCHS

Thursday, May 21

• late buses today
• Grade 7 to the Bronx Zoo 
• Grade 5 Parent Orientation 7:00 PM

Friday, May 22

• Wear Blue to support our Troops and Veterans!
• FASS (Friday After School Support) today

Reminder: No school on Monday, May 25 - Memorial Day - Don't miss the Parade!!

Have a great weekend!

Student resumes...Yes, Middle School Students should start them!

It's never too early to... 
...words that make MS parents hearts skip a beat!

As a Middle School Parent we are often not ready for our children to move onto High School.  This rite of passage is often more traumatic for parents than it is for students.  As our children get closer and closer to High School and college a reality sets in for many that didn't seem possible when our children entered Middle School as 6th graders.

At BCMS we never want to make students or parents feel rushed, but in keeping with our responsibility to prepare students for all that lies ahead we want to encourage parents to begin a very important process.

Last night (Monday, May 4) our PTO had a great presentation from Gayle Moriarity, BCHS Counseling Coordinator, and Katie Cooney Lesko, Senior Associate Director of Admissions at  Siena College, about the importance of beginning a student resume.

Too often High School Sophomores, Juniors, and even Seniors are NOT prepared to create their resumes for colleges and jobs because they haven't kept track of their various involvements during middle and high school.

Key elements that distinguish students are their academic achievements, their extracurricular involvement (athletics, music, club participation, etc.), and their community orientation and service. Because all of these are such an important part of students' experience at BCMS there is no better time than the present to begin recording students' involvement.  Additionally, it is far harder to recall specifics of these activities (grades, dates, specific actions) far after they have occurred and this is a valuable lesson to teach students.  Maintaining a resume is far easier than trying to build one through recall many years later. 

Please check out the sample template shared at our meeting and please feel empowered to use this as a good start for beginning your child's resume.  (All information on the sample template is fictitious.)

End of Week Notes:

Please Vote!!!

• Our upcoming school budget vote is Tuesday, May 19.
• Too often we hear from parents that they assume our budget will pass and they therefore don't place a high priority on voting.  Nine years ago our budget did not pass and this was during a year when our participation rate was the least we have had in the last 10 years! 
• Please remember to get out to vote on May 19!

Congratulations to our Ensemble Band Groups - They're 'Golden'

• Each of our Middle School Bands, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade achieved Gold Level distinction in the recent NYSMMA evaluations.  Bands are judged not only on the quality of their play, but on their focus, their intensity, and their decorum.  Well Done to our students and to our Band Leader Ms. Burmeister

Congratulations to the members of the BC Chess Club

• In the chess tournament hosted at BCMS on May 2, BCMS came in 2nd place among teams from throughout the region and had many members achieve 3 points out of a possible 4!  Well done
• Read more here: https://sites.google.com/site/bethlehemschoolschessclub/

Organization begins with a Calendar

• In families with busy children (and parents) it's hard to function without a calendar.  
• A great way to teach responsibility related to organizational skill is to make children keep their own calendar.
• Children copy all the family events to their calendar
• Children can fill in around family events with ...
• time for studies
• time for extracurriculars
• time for family!!!
• Children can be held accountable to making parents aware of conflicts and be held accountable to discussing these with parents, coaches, teachers, etc. prior to the date of the conflict
• May is an overwhelming time for many families and there is no better way to minimize the stress that comes with conflict than by empowering children with these skills!

The Week that Will be:

Monday, May 4

• PTO Meet 7:00

Tuesday, May 5

• Late buses today
• BOE Meet the Candidates 6:30 PM BCHS Cafeteria
• Grade 6 Concert 7:30

Wednesday, May 6

• Author Kathleen Duble Visits BCMS during the day
• Late buses today
• BOE meets 7:00 @ BCHS

Thursday, May 7

• late buses today
• Grade 7 Concert 7:30 PM

Friday, May 8

• FASS (Friday After School Support) today

Have a great weekend!